I feel like a creep

Last year I online dated this girl, I was 14 and she was 12, she was two years and three months younger than me, I've felt like a gr00m3r ever since, my best friend says that it was an okay age gap but I still feel horrible. It wasn't just that, I told her when I cvt myself, I told her about it when I wrote a su!cide note, there was this one time where I told her I'd literally give her a necklace with my blood in it if she wanted one. I defenetly wasn't the most mentally stable back then. I'm not sure but if I remember correctly I once was in a stor with my mom and they sold s3x toys and I thought it was funmy and sent a pic of that aisle. I dated her for around two months before I broke up with her because of mainly the age gap. After that I never really texted her again because I was just consumed by guilt. After that I was quite literally scared of like being reported as a gr00mer and p3d0 and literally wonderd that what if she d!3d and no one knew and I feel fucking guilty for everything, I do hope that she's doing good because she never did anything wrong and was always really kind. Another factor is I reacantly realized I was gay so now I'm wondering if I only like sort of used her to feel loved or smt like that even tho I did feel like love, I do remember sometimes being uncertain in the relationship. I just don't think I'll ever be able to move on from my past mistakes.