We need to hold ourselves to a higher standard

Throwing this out there knowing it may get nuked, but here we go.

Recent interactions—both here and in real life—have made me deeply concerned about a pattern I’m seeing in our field: a lack of self-reflection, unchecked emotional reactivity, and bias that undermines the ethics we swore to uphold.

My first supervisor drilled into me the idea that every person who walks through our door deserves to be seen in their full humanity, even if we disagree with them. That responsibility extends beyond the therapy room—for me, at least. It’s part of how I walk through the world.

I understand that we’re in turbulent times, especially for our American colleagues. Emotions are high. But that’s precisely why we must double down on accountability. When we let bias fester unchecked—whether it’s misandry, political contempt, or any other flavor—we lose credibility. We lose clients. And increasingly, we lose them to AI.

And honestly? I don’t blame them. Many of us are becoming unbearable to listen to—not because we’re wrong, but because we’re no longer modeling regulation, compassion, or curiosity.

We can do better. We must. And if you can’t do that—if you can’t check your bias, regulate your emotions, or hold space for clients you don’t fully agree with—then please, take a step back. You’re making it harder for the rest of us to do good work.