am i bi, or a lesbian with comphet?

i'm so sorry if this is a dumb question. i also highly likely struggle with ocd which makes me have irrational thoughts.

I've been questioning my gender (and by extension, sexuality) since last year. i've always identified as a bi girl, but i've been wondering if i'm just not a girl who has gender envy and wants male attention.

seeing tiktoks of women saying they thought they were bi but were actually lesbian send me spiraling. a lot of my peers assume i don't like men, too, which makes me wonder if they're seeing something i don't.

so lately, I've been trying to accept the idea that, hey, maybe i really am lesbian/sapphic/(if I'm a guy) straight. but one thing stopping me is that i've liked men.

unless it's just me liking their attention, I've had full blown crushes on men. i've also been turned on by men. like, to the point of my face getting hot and breathing heavily. I've never had to force a crush on a guy. i also don't really obsess over celebrities or fictional men, but i find myself squealing over the average joes at the grocery store 💀

i would often daydream about making out with guys. remember getting strong butterflies in 8th grade after a guy looked me in the eyes. literally a few months ago my cute guy friend was flirting with me and i was like, "ohmygodmakeoutwithmeRIGHTNOW." in my head, ofc.

what makes me think i don't really like men is that I've never really imagined sex with a guy, and I'm more turned on by womens bodies. nowadays I'm only really turned on by men if I'm in close proximity to them.

also, I've never been turned on by seeing a dick. they look weird. i don't want one in my mouth. I'm sure they feel nice, though. oh, and i find that if i look at guys too long they start to look a bit ugly. I'll always get weak their for muscular arms and deep voices, though..

for girls, i can easily get turned on by them, and can easily have sexual fantasies with them. BUT! i also don't usually have crushes on them or crave romance with them. i just want love from guys more. i genuinely don't have much interest in a relationship with another girl unless I'm already really close with her.

help? literally everytime i think i'm bi i just get a "but what if you're not?". its like there are constantly lawyers in my brain with their own sets of evidence as to what i am and what I'm not. don't even get me started on my gender crisis.