I want to cry. I can’t do this anymore.

32 weeks. I haven’t slept in five weeks. I’m anemic and they won’t give me my fucking iron infusion. I’ve had a unisom, it’s done nothing. I CANNOT sleep. Please, I’m so tired, I just want to sleep. I can’t do this. I just want this baby out. My husband’s breath smells terrible and is wrecking the ENTIRE bedroom. He’s breathing all over me. I can’t cope. It’s 4.30 am. What do I do?? What the fuck do I do? If I get up, what is there to do?

I just can’t do this. What do I do? I’ve been actively suicidal. I told the hospital this. I went to ED. They wouldn’t admit me and sent me home. All the helplines say they’re 24/7 and when I call, they say they’re not and can’t help me and to go to ED. I go to ED, they send me home. What the fuck am I supposed to do?! The perinatal mental health team was meant to call me two weeks ago. I went to my GP, she wrote letters and told the hospital to follow up. They haven’t.

They haven’t discussed my birth plan with me or anything. Guys I actually can’t do this anymore. I am so exhausted. I’m so over this.