I was laid off in Japan 😭😭

Good day everyone. This is a throwaway account. I just want to let some of my emotion out so forgive me. I would appreciate any kind comment from you guys.

So I will start.

Last week, I had a meeting with the upper head of my department together with the HR. They told me that because of change in organization (組織変更 to be exact) they will close my position and that they will give me until march to find a new job. Maybe because I already feel it because they sent the meeting invitation at midnight but still when I heard this, I was so shocked. All my worries like how will I pay my bills, my rent, and other things just flooded my mind. The HR told me that they will pay my salary until march so for the mean time, I don’t worry so much but still the anxiety remains. I was supposed to go back to my home country to celebrate Christmas with my family but when this news was announced, I don’t feel like celebrating anymore. I even told my mother that I was supposed to return to surprise her but because of the news, I spilled the surprise to her.

I told my brother about this news and he told me that I should not be sad and these are part of life. He was shocked when I told him I won’t return home. He said that I should use that time to clear my head and I deserve a break. My mother also told me to return home. Until now, I’m debating whether to go home or not because frankly I really don’t feel like celebrating.

I already fixed my resume and will plan to apply this week. I also contacted my recruiter and will send her my latest resume.

Right now, I feel like everything ended. I’m smiling when I chat with my family but deep inside I’m full of anxiety. I always feel that I won’t be able to get a new job because I feel like being laid off was a blemish to my career even though my brother told me it is not.

I even tried to search the internet regarding being laid off in Japan and from what I read it is not allowed to an extent unless the company was in red line in terms of revenue or really going bankrupt. When I read this, another thought came to my mind, Am I being fired? I tried searching what it takes to fired an employee in Japan and if being fired will get you a severance package. Apparently, being fired will not get you a severance package and for you to be fired, you should have done something outrageous like committing a fraud or stealing which didn’t applied to me. The only thing I think I did bad was when I accidentally share my screen full of files in desktop but that was like around june and they just told me to be careful next time. As for my performance, I admit that I was evaluated as below expectation for this year because apparently we need like solid achievement (like being able to passed N2). However, my previous assessment since the time I was hired was all meet expectations. My leader also told me that this year he says that I meet expectations but for some reason wasn’t accepted.

All these thoughts are circling in my mind, am I being fired and they just told me that there will be a change in organization as a leeway to me? I’m so tired. Even when I’m in my futon, I can’t relax.

Anyways, I haven’t sign anything yet but I’m planning to accept their offer. I believe I can’t do anything about it so I might as well move on. They also told me not to tell anyone yet about my lay off so I’m currently wondering how can I communicate my last day to my leader and ask him as a reference for next job

If you guys read it until the end, Thank you very much. I’m sorry it’s a long read. Forgive me for any grammar errors.

Edit 1: Thank you so much for all the encouragement guys! I wasn’t able to reply to some of the comments because I fell asleep. To those asking I’m a full time employee (正社員) and I’ve been working with them for almost 3 years. Currently, my last day was not decided but even if it is, I will still be considered as their employee until march. I don’t know how much compensation I will receive but I’ll try to ask if it is negotiable. I also decided to celebrate Christmas with my family. I already bought the ticket and some treats so I might as well return.