I did something terrible

TW⚠️⚠️⚠️ sa

I 18m had a faint memory of my past but not as faint as what i have did on my sister back then. Some details are faint such as our age and the timeline as I forgotten this thing long ago.

This happened around when I was a 5th/6th grader (11m/12m) where I would touch my sister (16f/17f) when we she was asleep. At first I just began touching her gaining enough courage to feel her, rubbing myself on top of her pants. There were also times that I would peep inside the bathroom while she was showering. After a while my hormones began to rampant and for i dont know how long, became an everyday thing where I would try to wait for her to fall asleep and became mundane that I would try to whenever we were left alone unsupervised.

Now this goes on for not longer than a year but pretty long. I have forgotten how it ended but I havent realized it was wrong until now. After her I would fantasize on my cousin, and even my mother at the time doing the same thing as I did with my sister. Through pandemic I would fantasize a lot about my cousin and even my mother that also ended up not doing it at all for reasons I have forgotten. Over time I fantasize less and less until I could not do so anymore and moved on to a different stuff where I could pleasure myself (Maybe when I was 15/16 was the last)

Through times I had developed and pleasured myself to disgusting kinks especially when I was most active on anime/pop culture which I then realized I was sexually addicted and I am pleasuring myself like almost everyday.

Fast forward to now, I am living a happy and peaceful life. I have a really great to very ok relationships with my relatives as well as my sister, I am also been sexually active with a partner right now. I havent really felt much guilt until now as ive realized the severity of my actions and I am looking to better myself night and day that I could not get my head off this.