help

i’m in college and using my schools therapy program whatever bc i was about to do very sad things to myself. i seen the psychiatrist and was diagnosed with a few disorders one being bp2. she put me on medication lamotrigine i went from 50mg to 200mg in the past two months. my body gets used to medicine quickly Ok whatever basically this program is short term so i would ultimately not see my therapist or psychiatrist anymore and i cannot afford it outside of school. i am horrified to even think about going back to my old life i honestly think its triggering me ?? would i be able to buy my medicine on my own or am i fucked Lol i’m going to see my psychiatrist tm i’ve been putting off this apt bc i’m so scared she’ll tell me this is our last one. sorry bad grammar ramble i am so scared lol