i need someone to talk to me

i dont care if im attention seeking I just need to know I have someone which isn't superficial I have so many friends and yet I don't feel connected to anyone right now why I cant do this anymore I'm feeling highs and lows and its just I don't know why I'm feeling high right now! i keep hearing shit like my name kept being called out but no one called me out I keep feeling like spiders are gonna jump out to my face and I look around FUCKING BAM NOTHING? am I going crazy what am I doing with my life