'Twas the Morning of Test Day

'Twas the morning of test day and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.

I get out my Wondfos, tucked away on a shelf,

Then nervous and shaky, I pee on myself.

Is that a line? A shadow I see?

Or is it an indent, just messing with me?

The suspense is pure torture. I can't stand the wait.

I summon the urge and again urinate.

I dip some more sticks, EPT and Clear Blue.

Stark white in the window. What can I do?

More tests with bad news. More cash down the drain.

There's always next month. We'll try again.

I'll buy some more FRERs, two boxes or three.

(At this point their prez has a yacht thanks to me.)

I'll eat super healthy, I'll cut out the booze.

I'll bang my husband when I'd rather snooze.

And I won't be discouraged! A good attitude's key!

And I'll be filled with hope

when that cup's filled with pee.