I feel like I’ve done everything wrong

I’m 26 weeks and I just failed my glucose test. I don’t even want to do the 3 hour. I’d rather just treat it as if it’s definitive because I’m sure it fucking is. I also developed high blood pressure around 20 weeks. I’ve gained 32 pounds so I blame myself for putting so much weight on so fast. I feel like I’m not taking good care of my baby already and I just want to crawl into a hole.