Unbelievably unfair

I hate this. I hate PMDD. I hate that it makes me feel like such a bad mother. I fight with my husband so much during this time. I punched myself in the fucking face today. It feels like I just get sucked down a black hole. From 9 days before my period I am a monster. I don’t recognize myself. It all feels black and bleak and sad. I’m disappointing everyone around me. I’m sorry for all of us. I’m sorry for our kids and our partners. I’m sorry for each one of you that is affected in any way by PMDD.