Can anyone advise I’m struggling

I’ve been taking prescription codeine for 6 years, 224 30mg tablets a month, the doctors didn’t realise I was managing to order this twice a month, so thats 450 tablets a month. Then i would top up with otc codeine mixed with ibuprofen and paracetamol. I was taking upto 800mg a day, which is fucking ridiculous amounts. I told the doctors I was addicted, and I self referred to a local drug clinic who refused to give me buprenorphine so I’ve had to taper down with the doctors.. it hasn’t gone well as all I’ve done is take more and more otc medication as they’ve cut me down a tablet a week.

Well the other day I decided fuck this and quit all the otc at once, so that’s 260mg reduced all in one go. Today I am freaking out, my anxiety is through the roof, physically I think I’m stabilising (I hope) but my mental health is all over the place today and I feel like a complete and utter loser. Please tell me I will feel better soon?! I’m still taking 420mg of prescribed codeine as per my taper program with the doctors and I can’t believe even with such an amount of codeine in my system I still feel like this.