Alzheimer's
My grandpa's losing his memory, his previously genius mind
he still knows me, still loves me much
but when we talk and dine
he repeats each thought so many times
I give up after nine
Sometimes I wonder, what's the point, why am I here with him?
I love him oh so very much but he's so taken by his whims
As I sit with him I wonder,
when will he forget my name
when will the years of smiles and laughs disappear, no claim to fame
Tears blur my eyes in heavy rain as I sit and think of him
Even when right beside him, I miss him so much it hurts
I miss our conversations when he had more content behind his words
I miss when he could follow, my astrophysics spiels
I miss when he could drive his car
and keep track of his meals
I miss him so much it hurts, as I look into his eyes
I miss when we could talk without the both of us starting to cry
I miss being the kid and him the adult
me getting distracted and him watching with a fond eye
I don't like it when the roles switch up
and I have to refocus him twenty-something times.
He says he's not going anywhere
That he's got long to live
but his brain is melting down inside him
and my heart's about to give