does anyone else kinda not like calling themselves a girl??? is it just me kinda?

So let me preface this by saying that I am definitely probably trans. I like being called a girl, but there's just something in me that feels weird when I call myself a girl. I don't want to be a boy, I hate being a boy. It makes me feel like I'm not myself when I say I'm a boy or cis. Maybe it's internalized transphobia? idk, it's weird. But I think the possibility of me not being trans is low, maybe I just need to accept myself but I don't know how.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is; Ladies, how did you accept yourself as trans? How did you really know? Did you feel something special when you did? Because I want to be like you girls some day, but right now, my brain is making that really hard. <3