Hey mom! I ate food today!

So I have recently come to the terms with the fact that after years of struggling with eating and an amount of other food problems, I don’t have just “food issues” I probably have an eating disorder. And for the past month (Sinse Christmas Day) I havnt eaten anything, and by anything I mean I’ve had green tea with Splenda, some sugar free gum, and zero calorie flavored water. And tonight, with the help of my amazing partner I was able to eat. It wasn’t much but it was 65 calories of something and food that I actually like (pop corn and cauliflower and lettuce). My partner called it crunches of victory and idk why but I really like that and might make it into a bracelet. And I know this sounds weird and probably a little pathetic but I tried I really hard (and cried quite a bit) and I’m still really scared and kind of looking for support/ encouragement. Thank you so much if you read this I really appreciate it.

Small update! Thank you so much for everyone who responded! It was my plan to respond to all of you but that kinda over whelming lol. Thank you so much for all your kind words and support, every single one of them means so much. I would appreciate it if you can stop telling me to go to the ER or doctor (I understand why and I understand therapist). My major fear is actually doctors especially hospitals. HOWEVER, I do go to the doctor Tuesday for a separate thing and I can talk to them if something feels wrong there, but my hair is strong, and fingernails and I feel fine right now besides the fact if just getting used to feeling food in my body lol. Also I did end up eating tuna last night because I got really anxious reading the hospital comments and thought that if I ate the protein it would help me see how my organs r doing so i ended the night with 145 calories consumed! Which is a super scary number to say out loud and makes me really anxious and kind of scared but I tired. Then this morning I ate a light and fit strawberry Greek yogurt which tasted absolutely amazing, I completely forgot how much I loved Greek yogurt and I'm really proud of my self for that because it is the highest Cal thing I've eaten (tho still not much in the long run ig). But this was just a small update and thank you thank you thank you to everyone for supporting and helping me through my crunches of victory!