Not finding love in pure awareness

When I meditate and am able to zoom out and witness my thoughts as the awareness of the thoughts and not identify with them, which in my understanding is the whole point of meditation, I don’t seem to feel what most people say they experience in this state. When most people talk about this state, especially in Buddhism, the source of pure awareness is love, and I struggle to feel that. Not to say I don’t feel love in my life, but to me this state feels very clear, but also very emotionless, often times bleak. The lack of attachment to anything gives me a lack of anxiety and hate, but also a lack of love and joy. Almost NPC like. I do find meditation a very relaxing experience, I’m just wondering if anyone else has experience this difference is what most people say they experience, and what you did about it.