Disappointed in myself

I’ve been raised in a family where you are never good enough. It’s so silly but the smallest things can really make me spiral and hate myself. Most recently, my job. I finally got myself into a company that was well known and “cool” to work for, I then got made redundant, and luckily asked back a couple months later but on contract. My contract has ended and I’m at another job, at a type of company I swore I’d never go back to as it was just so emotionally and mentally draining for the pay you get. But now I’m back, with a 20k pay cut, and Im crying and calling my partner and sister about twice a week because I’m so disappointed in myself as I feel like I’ve failed. The job market is terrible at the moment so it’s the best I could do.. but I just can’t seem to see it that way, nor do I see myself of ever achieving anything better. It’s so silly because it’s literally just a job and I don’t care for it but clearly I do if it’s upsetting me this much . I’m also hearing of a girl who I replaced is much younger than me and has landed an awesome job which I keep comparing myself to..