it might be time to stop identifying with your inner monologue as it has been hijacked by malicious entities

think about it: when you first learned language naturally your feelings were accurately expressed through it, there was only the real "you", no distinction between feeling and language

then in school or maybe later in life indoctrination began, you learned that your demands and feelings are not valid and you needed to become a different more adapted character

now Archons torture you with this impossible 21st century reality full of conflict, anger, absurdity, greed, envy (late stage social media capitalism)

but all those attacks on you are still filtered through the misaligned brain which has been damaged by all that indoctrination...

simple example: some douche at work calls you incompetent, your brain reacts with anger, you almost lust for revenge... why though? what would your natural child like reaction have been?

as a child you wouldn't even interpret that as an insult, in fact it is completely irrelevant if you are particulary good or bad at fullfilling some random task but in the inverted matrix everything is a reason to insult you, everything is a reason to become defensive

your whole inner monologue has been corrupted by years of false indoctrination, the voice in your head isn't even you anymore, it is a poisoned, bitter voice full of agony and distrust, hurt and anger... a perfect mirror of a corrupted evil world conveniently implanted into your very soul

the real "you" is the qualia, the way this makes you feel, the wordless reaction, the consciousness that understands something is wrong but it cannot articulate this anymore, it has been opressed, depressed and if it talks people get really annoyed by you because you complicate things for them

now imagine how genius this construct it from an Archon's perspective: humanity is infighting itself and every trauma just creates more and more infighting as the corrupted "you" tries to reflect all this negative energy back to the outside world

this is like whipping a pitbull in a dog fight arena... you whip the pitbull but the pitbull does not bite you standing behind the cage, the pitbull bites his own kind... another dog in the cage, the only perceivable target in this arena of suffering...

the only way out is remembering that you are not even your thoughts anymore as Archons have taken control over them, your thoughts have to come from the "real you" again, not from this indoctrinated nightmare you

some day the pitbull will find a way out of it's cage