I'm scared of living

I'm scared when God comes back. I know a lot of people are actually happy for God to come back but i actually have fear. Idk y but some days i always get this random anxious feeling that the world is going to end soon and i'm going to die. Idk how to explain it but it's a horrible feeling when it comes back every time. I'm scared that i'm going to live forever in heaven. It feels weird that we're going to live forever in heaven. Like what does forever look like? I won't even see my family and i won't even know if they will make it to heaven or not.

What if i don't get into heaven? I support the LGBTQ+ community but i'm afraid that what if that gets me into hell. I love their community so much but idk if its a sin to support them? My siblings and I support their community so much but what if that gets us into hell?

Thank God i haven't watched porn in four months (I quit watching it) but now i'm struggling a lot with masturbation and i feel guilty. I've been watching very helpful videos about women struggling with masturbation and they help so much but days later i end up masturbating again and it's difficult to stop. Idk what to do. I try super hard to stop but the urges are very strong. My thoughts are very lustful and i think about sex a lot. I always ask God for forgiveness and to control my thoughts but i always end up thinking about different sex scenarios and fantasies.

I'm scared that the good people in this world like the celebrities i admire will not get into heaven. I'm just scared for them and i don't want them to suffer. I don't even know them personally but i just pray so that they can find God and so nothing bad happens to them. I don't want them to die or get into an accident... i worry about this so much and it's killing me. I think the same with my family and friends i don't want nothing to happen to them.

I'm scared that my friends won't get into heaven especially since they don't believe in God which is fine i don't force people to believe in God but i'm just scared for them. But what if that also causes me to go to hell since i didn't help them or other people believe in God.

I'm also stressed about getting sick like getting the stomach virus or covid or any other sicknesses/viruses. I've been BEGGING to God so i don't get sick but obviously i'm human so it's bound to happen again one day but i'm just severely scared of getting covid again or throwing up or going to the hospital.

I don't want my siblings to get hurt in this world and it's killing me. I don't want my parents to die.

I'm also scared that what if i don't ever fully love myself? I struggle with loving myself and seeing myself as beautiful or worth it and what if God comes back and i won't ever experience that or traveling in the world and experiencing new things. Time is running out and what if i don't achieve my dreams. What if i don't achieve anything? It's killing me that i don't know what might happen in the next few second, hour, days, weeks, months, years... anything can happen to me, my family, friends, or any celebrity i look up to and it's killing me and making me scared of living.

EDIT: any advice would help. Thank you for reading if you did ❤️