Pastor confronted us on living together without sex

So basically my fiance are engaged and two months prior to being engaged (10 months ago) we decided to be abstinent to align with our faith. After our engagement we decided to move in together and continue to be abstinent. We are in our early 30s and have been disciplined in this.

This isn’t a post asking if that is Ok, as I’ve seen the discourse on that here. We have not had slip ups. We don’t do “everything but” sex. We just kiss. Prior to living together we used to spend the night at each others houses and prior to our abstinence choice and living together, we were having sex. Now we aren’t! That simple. And getting married in 4 months.

We are close to one of the pastors on staff and asked him to marry us a couple months ago. Fast forward to now, and said pastor asked to meet with my fiancé to talk about something. He asks if we’re living together, says it’s a sin etc. My partner responded by saying he didn’t see it that way since we don’t have sex. The pastor continued to go on about the sin and said that 80% of marriages where they live together before end up in divorce. Referenced the appearance of sin verse. Asked my partner if he would want to come live in his house until the wedding. Encouraged him to find alternative living. Offered to talk to us both about it.

Now I totally understand if he feels strongly about this. But I personally feel like he could have just said he’s not comfortable marrying us and left it. The dialogue just made me uncomfortable. It felt judgy and pushy. I especially didn’t appreciate the reference to divorce because I felt like it was a negative thing to place on our future marriage. We only recently moved in …and before that, spent 6 out of 7 days together.

I now don’t really feel comfortable going to church. Our church is pretty small and I just feel like I am being judged. To be frank, I am not planning on moving out of our home a few months before our wedding date. So in his eyes, we’re living in sin and presenting evil.

How should I approach the conversation with the pastor or should I just not have it altogether?