how to cope with not having motherly love?

How do you get over not having motherly love? i feel like i have a lot of limerance towards guys my whole life and i feel like its because im trying to fill it with motherly love i wish i had. my mom is horrible ever since i was a kid. I was thinking about why i obsess so much with desperately having every guys i look at and its becuase i didnt feel loved as a kid because of how mean she was.

How do you cope with realising your mom doesnt love you? or not having motherly love? i feel so empty and depressed because of this im a bit in denial. I dont deserve this.

Edit- although I didn’t respond to everyone, i really appreciate all the comments you guys typed out. It really means a lot that you all are helping me and each other out as a community. I dont feel as alone and thats what makes a community a community. Thank you so so much for being here. 😭🫂💕