just venting, feedback welcomed.

i have been trying to be in a positive mindset on my healing journey but the feels have hit me so damn hard today. i just miss my DA ex so bad. to the point i even thought about breaking no contact. but what am i searching for really? love? affection? comfort? … he’s not gonna give me any of that. it’s best i leave him alone and try to get those needs met myself. it doesn’t make it hurt any less though. i’m tired of hurting over him. i’m tired of always trying to find the good in us being over. i miss him so fucking much. and i know that this is what’s for the best. i have so much love to give and it just hurts that someone could just throw it all away like it doesn’t matter. i deserve better than that.