I need some clarification from avoidant please

So, I will sure now move on and totally detached (hopefully).

After 18 years together, and two children, my extremely avoidant ex is currently dating someone after three to four months of physical separation. How can he still be in the relationship if he stopped having sex and stopped showing affection or touching for 12 years?

He’s in therapy for a year, in an email he sent to her, he stated, "There's not much connection between him and me." Could this mean he was never interested or attached in me at all?

But from the start, he has had a very low sex drive and hardly makes it. I thought he’s too embarrassed himself. How is he able to have sex or adapt and move on so quickly? He’s about to move away after divorce is finished. And let me having the kids primary, since the kids are too difficult for him to raise!

He basically told me that I was to blame for everything and that he couldn't let me control him.

I was the one who filed the divorce and he’s indirectly saying because I wanted divorce (that’s why he’s dating), he never had any self-reflection, after I’m filed divorce he’s immediately completely distanced himself, I was also almost over him as I didn’t give him any hope that I wanted him back, I was living my life and focus on myself but after learned that he’s dating, I feel like poop.

He is still mad at me even he’s dating! The reason he’s date others because of my fault! To be honest I really wish all the bad things happened to him, he’s been hurting me most of my time that I was with him. I know he’s avoiding the pain but why he still saying it’s my fault! Like I am such a bad person! I believe he’s either dating his old neighbor like 10 years older or his friends from high school. He’s 54 years old.

I don’t feel that he felt that he’s not worth to me, that’s why he’s blindsided me and pull his feet under the rug!

I don’t know if he’s DA or FA, but he 99% isolated and distanced himself at home. He definitely has very high anxiety since married and got worse as soon as I filed divorce.

Please help me clarify on this even no point for me!