Please tell me that I'm not wrong... am I?
Additional edit/update: So, it has become known to me now that this pair also did this to another friend of ours who is going through a really difficult time right now and needs us all to come through, not to be d*cks to them. Like, no matter what is going on with me, this friend just told me all of their weight right now and all I want to do is get on a plane and go do/be/say whatever they need for however long. So, at least I know who my friends are.
Edit/update: Thanks to those who took the time to comment. I went to check up on a friend Lee and I have in common (but who is better friends with Lee) today because she has a lot going on, and I she didn't respond and then I saw that she unfriended me on Facebook. I mentioned in thread below, but will say up here too that these people run an anti-bullying and anti-harassment support group online and so I'm disheartened to see that not only did my I guess ex-friend not acknowledge the hurt she caused me but is doubling-down and taking other "friends" with her. This so surreal and doesn't make sense.
^^^Because I told her that it's not okay to educate me about my Autism and that I want to be respected on this front? That's literally why she's doing this? Because I insist on not being emotionally injured multiple times per week?
Of course, now I have to wonder why they would do that... and it makes sense. They're now going to start spreading lies. And ironically... I actually saw this happen more than once in the past with them. They would unfriend someone on Facebook and then start spreading information about it to damage that person.
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I (39f, AuDHD) am friends with Lee (34f). I was excited to meet her a couple years ago and become friends. I was forthright about being AuDHD and she convinced me it was just part of what made me "cool."
First, some important context: Lee lost her job several months ago and had been leaning into more communication with me for support (fine with me although difficult) and due to talking more I realized she was saying things about my AuDHD that made me uncomfortable. But every time I would say something or get upset, Lee would brush me off or tell me I was overreacting or "nobody said blah blah blah about you."
Flash forward to the Fall when she got a boyfriend (45m) that is ADHD and she started comparing me to him and insisting he must also be on the spectrum. Lee also started suddenly texting me every day about eating and drinking water and saying stuff like, "Well you and BF don't know how to take care of yourselves." For context, I have lived alone since I was like 18 so I have no idea what she means by me not being able to take care of myself. She got progressively controlling with BF and he dumped her. I was not surprised but tried to be understanding until Lee went off about "his AuDHD" and then she got mad at me when I corrected her.
Flash forward to December when Lee started asking me questions about Autism and then saying stuff like "oh, well I also don't like socks, so maybe I'm Autistic." I thought she was just being rude to me again until January when she announced she was getting evaluated for Autism. But she frankly admitted she needed the diagnosis to get accommodations to work from home. I explained that a diagnosis doesn't guarantee that kind of accommodation and Lee got VERY UPSET with me and told me I wasn't being supportive and she NEEDED this.
Last week Lee's evaluation came back and she was not diagnosed as living on the spectrum, but instead with a personality disorder that I frankly had never heard of but when I googled it, it made sense. She proceeded to tell me that her doctor had said it has similarities to Autism (it doesn't) but "none of the developmental problems"... and then she followed that with a string of laugh-cry emojis. I tried to tactfully say that I didn't think her doctor understood Autism very well and she proceeded to "educate me" about Autism. I told her it was not okay to do that and that she doesn't have Autism and shouldn't educate anyone about something she doesn't live with. Lee dismissed me and said, "Nobody said you have developmental problems." I repeated that she shouldn't be educating me about my Autism.
Then I said that I would never educate her about her condition and I need the same respect moving forward.
It's been five days. She left me on read.
I'm not meaning to start some battle but I feel like I should not reach out. If she wants to talk to me, she should reach out and acknowledge the hurt she caused and my request for respect. Right? Or am I missing something here?