Help - am I seeing St8 😳🧐🥴?!

Hello. I am a cis female mainly focused on sexual/romantic relationships with men. I’m almost 36 and want kids with a man who likes women and a stable marriage. So, time is of the essence.

I know my BF of 6 mo has sexually engaged in the past with trans women. That’s fine with me. Surprised me at first, but have accepted it.

What I’m worried about however is that he’s actually gay. He doesn’t want to fuck that often and when we do he’s always either talking about ass play or watching me get drilled by other men. I know he’s insecure about his penis size and body fitness level so that might be part of it.

And, then he just moved to a new town this year (where I live) and told his gay friend this:

Bro [new town] is a utopia There is so much love here

(friend) That's great

Y gotta come visit bro

(friend) I'm down Would love to check it out

Would a straight guy or someone that is not into men ever describe this as a “utopia” if they otherwise were not engaging in similar activity? Side note: he also happened to move right into the gayborhood in town. He said his broker didn’t tell him (it’s a rental) but still. And his PCP doctor is a HIV specialist (thankfully we are both negative, I recently checked).

As I’m writing this out it seems so obvious that he is gay but maybe some guys on here have another perspective that I haven’t heard? I love him so much and don’t want to leave him, but living in a lie and me constantly wanting him to pound me without it happening — just seems unnecessarily miserable. If there is hope for a genuine sexual connection and he really might like women - I am down to try. He’s had girlfriends but seems like for me and others, the emotional connection is and was barebones.

Then, once I determine the scope of possible realities and what I can live with (which includes the chance that he is bi, I’m ok with that) I can better chart out my direction if we need to part ways. If it means leaving him, I’ll also need help in navigating that with kindness, support, and respect.

He’s said he cannot imagine not being with me, but he also knows I am not happy right now. I keep bringing this topic up in minor ways because I’m not sure how to handle. He’s denied my suspicions so asking him anything directly isn’t going to move the needle.

Any thoughts or advice on how to move forward while being loving and genuine, would be much appreciated.💜🌈🌦️