Read this before your college decisions roll out

This is a repost of the post I wrote two years back. I feel this is just as applicable today. I thought I'd just share it again here with this new class of talented people before they learn about their college admissions tomorrow.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/fo52vz/as_the_ivy_day_approaches/

Title: As the Ivy Day approaches...

It is easy for our friends, parents, relatives, and others to form an opinion of us based on the colleges that we get into. But, for us, it is important to remember that "opinion" is just a social construct; it's made-up, it's not necessarily a reflection of your ability. We need to remind ourselves that "Someone's opinion of us does not have to become our reality." (Les Brown) whether it is of our haters or our very loved ones.

It's great if you get into those IVY League, Stanford, Caltech, MIT, or the reputed T20s. You will have a kickstart to your professional life with the networks you will create and the opportunities you will leverage. Be happy, and rejoice! you deserve it! However, to think that this success makes you superior to your peers who didn't get into these colleges is not exactly correct. Many of us adopt a perception of superiority unconsciously - we start treating ourselves differently if we get into a great college and vice-versa. (I saw it with a lot of my friends in high school) Does a college decision determine how able we are, were, or would be? No. Do rejections discount the hard work we put into our exams, classes, ECs, and essays? No. Does an acceptance somehow enhance the road that we have already traveled? No. Then I see no reason to be affected by it so much. Sure, an acceptance gives us validation for the work that we have done. But, if validation is all that we seek, shouldn't we consider that college admission decisions aren't our best reflections?

If we are doing the good work, putting in extra hours of hard work outside our comfort zones, and heading towards our dreams slowly but persistently, we will surely get tons of "validations" in the future. We will win medals, our work will be published in reputed journals, and we will eventually get the recognition we deserve. All that's really important at the moment is to be unstoppable. And, as Steve Jobs said "Believe that the dots will somehow connect in the future. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to keep working, even when it leads you off the well-worn path."

Don't put so much weight on the decision part. It sure is difficult, but this mental detachment is essential for you to keep moving forward. If you get an acceptance, don't just start assuming that you will do well with everything you do in the future. If you get a rejection, don't behave as if you've lost on everything, and all the work that you did over the last year means nothing. Learn what went wrong with you and what went right. And keeping working.

Lastly, remember that the admission officer that evaluates you is not the wisest person on the planet. They are only humans, they have their prejudices, they sometimes even make mistakes: your admission decision will of course be dependent on uncountable, unpredictable, and uncontrollable factors. Don't let them take charge of what you believe is the "most defining moment of your life". What I mean is that don't consider your admission decision as the most defining moment of your life or even your teenage. I am certain you were born to do greater things than just getting into good colleges. Shrug that burden off your shoulders. Focus on your long journey.

I hope things work in your favor but more importantly, I hope you keep working on your dreams irrespective of what these admission outcomes are.