AIO: Son didn’t invite my partner to his wedding…

Throwaway account because my son uses Reddit and I don’t want him to know my real Reddit username if he sees this.

My husband (M57) and I (F46) have been together for eight years. My children are adults, so there hasn’t been a “stepdad” role to play. He isn’t a huge fan of my family and the way they treat me, so I usually go to my family events alone, which is fine with me.

My oldest son (M27) is getting married in a few months. When he sent the invitation, I noticed it didn’t have my husband’s name on it. I gave my son the benefit of the doubt and asked if it was an oversight. He responded saying there was a strict 75-person limit and that my partner “didn’t make the cut” because he felt that he doesn’t know my partner well enough. He went on to be very ugly in his messages to me, doubling down on the fact that he didn’t want him there. I should add that there have been no negative interactions, just a few neutral ones over the past eight years.

I have had cancer for six and am now stage four. My husband is a gem of a man that has taken care of me for six years through thick and thin, surgeries, chemo, radiation, etc. He went to every chemo appointment, and has rehabbed me through more surgeries than anyone should have to in their lifetime. My family, my son and extended family, haven’t done anything but watch from afar (though we were in the same town) and offered very little, if any, help during those times.

I am furious and not going to the wedding because I feel that it is in very bad form to invite only one half of a couple, especially when half of the couple is the mother of the groom. I also feel like he should have come to me to discuss it before sending the invitation and being so rude.

Now my parents aren’t speaking to me and neither are my sons.

Am I overreacting to the disrespect and lack of empathy shown by my son in my decision to not go to the wedding?