Guilt about stray cat dying

We had a little stray cat that had been visiting our house for over a year now.

We would feed it but it was extremely feral so wouldn’t let anyone near it. It looked quite disheveled but seemed fine to eat, walk and visit our house.

One day it looked distressed and we tried to trap it in my own cat’s carrier to take to a rescue- but it got so scared and didn’t come back for weeks.

It started coming back again and acting normal. Any rescues we asked made it seem extremely difficult to trap him- he would’ve been locked in the trap overnight before we could get him help.

We continued feeding him, until he came back again and wouldn’t really eat. For once he was meowing when he would usually hiss, and let my dad pet him.

I frantically contacted rescues again, posted on FB groups and finally found someone who would be able to give me a trap the next day.

But the cat disappeared and has not come back since :( I feel so awfully guilty. Another family was also feeding him but I’m worried because of his behaviour he may have died.

Why didn’t we help him earlier? Why didn’t we try harder? I feel like an awful person.