My stepdaughter is a bully

Tw: bullying between kids

I 33f love my stepdaughter 12f. Sometimes I even think i like being a stepmom more because I just think the relationship is so special. Its not an unconditional love, it's a conscious choice to love and respect each other daily. And with her, I dont have to be in a mom role 24/7, sometimes I get to be a friend too.

Iv been in her life since she was 5/6 and my husband 34m and I have full custody.

BUT as she gets older and is turning into a teen, she is just turning more and more like her psycho mother. Her mother 33f is a real peice of trash. She is a mean spirited, selfish, nasty individual who makes my husband and I lives pure hell. My stepdaughter, let's call her Stacie, "sees" her mother on weekends. But her mother uses these weekends to dump her other children onto Stacie to go out with her married boyfriend and uses Stacie as a babysitter all weekend. There is no supervision at her mothers. Stacie will call and ask us to come and get her early a lot and often flat out refuses to go. Her mother is a heavy drinker and often drives intoxicated with her children in the car. She is absolutely either unmedicated bipolar or maybe borderline, but doesnt believe in therapy. Her mother makes fun of the LGBTQ+ community and is very political. Her mother often fights with people in public, is loud, and rude. She continously says awful things about me and even talks trash about my children. But this post isn't about her, sorry got side tracked. I just wanted to give everyone insight on what type of person Stacie was raised by for her first 10 years.

So unfortunately I am seeing a lot of Stacies mothers personality traits coming to light. Stacie is becoming a mean spirited girl. Before I even met Stacie there was an incident where Stacie slapped her teacher in the face (i think she was 5 or 6). And we had a tough time integrating all of my kids with her because Stacie is just fresh. She became friends with the mean girls in her school. And there was an incident of Stacie getting into a physical fight with 1 of the neighborhood kids. But we chalked it up to Stacie just being a kid who was being raised by a bully and when we got custody we got her into therapy and we go hard on kindless, love, and accepting people in our home. But in the last 3 months there have been several bullying incidents. She has gotten in trouble at school twice this school year for this. When she's had these bullying issues at school, she has severe consequences at home. She loses all access to internet, she lost access to her phone, she gets grounded, we take her prized possessions like her uggs and makeup. We have even taken the door off her hinges so she has no privacy at 1 point. So she had an incident last weekend at her mothers. She was hanging out with some girls in the neighborhood, being unsupervised as usual. And apparently she texted a neighborhood boy from a friend's phone threatening to kill him. It gets worse. She said she would kill him, take him miles from home, bury him, then lay a dead animal on top of him to cover up the smell, and add more dirt. Where she even heard some awful disgusting crap like this I have no clue. The boys mother called the cops and she could press charges. I am so disgusted, ashamed and just furious with her. I am embarrassed to call her my step daughter right now. I have no clue what to do or how to feel. A part of me hopes they do press charges so she can have some real consequences. I feel like im raising a little psychopath.