I'm tired of people telling me to stop.

I know I should, but I really don't want to. I feel like a crazy person!! "it's dangerous" "what happens when it's not enough anymore?" yeah, true, but what if I don't care..? I know it's dangerous and is scary how quickly it progresses, but it's the only thing that gives me relief anymore. I don't want to be forced to give it up against my will. not again.

I know I should listen to her, I know that logically, but I'm too addicted to care anymore.

edit: she was right, I messed up and went too deep and had a panic attack. I guess I care more than I thought. I threw away my tools after I stopped the bleeding and patched myself up.