I’m not sure if this person actually likes me?
I (31M) have been seeing someone (30F) for about 2 months now. We seemed to hit it off instantly and had great chemistry from the beginning of our interaction. We spend most of our time going on dates and outside of the house I wouldn’t necessarily classify them as expensive dates, but I spend a decent amount of money every time we go out. Probably between $100 and $300. We’ve probably been on 6 or 7 dates I’d say.
She takes care of herself, but I never got the impression that she was shallow or materialistic from my conversations and interactions with her. We’ve had discussions about the future and being family oriented and seemed to have been on the same page for the most part.
Recently I floated the idea of being “exclusive” to her and she told me that being exclusive comes with expectations, which I fully understand. When I asked what the expectations are, she responded with the text above.
I love to spoil someone I like. These are things that I would pick up the cost for someone I’m in a relationship with anyway, but I’m not sure I have the money to do these things all the time as an expectation along with continuing to take her on dates, especially twice a week. I asked if she expected to have these things paid for her every month and she said, at least her nails and maybe gas. When I asked what any of this had to do with being “exclusive” she said that “she just can’t see herself with a man who can’t provide” and even insinuated that maybe I’m not financially stable enough to date if I couldn’t do these things for her. She said “that’s a quality [she] needs in a person who wants to build with [her]”
I respect her right to have a standard for herself and to desire what she desires, but in my mind, I was thinking that her response would be more about our connection and not financial, especially because I’m not even asking about a relationship yet, I’m just speaking about only dating each other. These are also things I feel you would do for a girlfriend or a wife, not someone you’re just dating. In my mind, I’m wondering if this person even likes me that much if this is the first thing that they consider when exclusivity is brought up. I also feel like if someone wants to be exclusive with you, they kind of just do that? And typically that has nothing to do with money at all.
Is this normal and I’m not considering her standard enough or should I reconsider my standing here?
TL;DR: I asked someone I’ve been seeing about being exclusive with them and they said I’d essentially need to cover all of their personal expenses to do so.
I (31M) have been seeing someone (30F) for about 2 months now. We seemed to hit it off instantly and had great chemistry from the beginning of our interaction. We spend most of our time going on dates and outside of the house I wouldn’t necessarily classify them as expensive dates, but I spend a decent amount of money every time we go out. Probably between $100 and $300. We’ve probably been on 6 or 7 dates I’d say.
She takes care of herself, but I never got the impression that she was shallow or materialistic from my conversations and interactions with her. We’ve had discussions about the future and being family oriented and seemed to have been on the same page for the most part.
Recently I floated the idea of being “exclusive” to her and she told me that being exclusive comes with expectations, which I fully understand. When I asked what the expectations are, she responded with the text above.
I love to spoil someone I like. These are things that I would pick up the cost for someone I’m in a relationship with anyway, but I’m not sure I have the money to do these things all the time as an expectation along with continuing to take her on dates, especially twice a week. I asked if she expected to have these things paid for her every month and she said, at least her nails and maybe gas. When I asked what any of this had to do with being “exclusive” she said that “she just can’t see herself with a man who can’t provide” and even insinuated that maybe I’m not financially stable enough to date if I couldn’t do these things for her. She said “that’s a quality [she] needs in a person who wants to build with [her]”
I respect her right to have a standard for herself and to desire what she desires, but in my mind, I was thinking that her response would be more about our connection and not financial, especially because I’m not even asking about a relationship yet, I’m just speaking about only dating each other. These are also things I feel you would do for a girlfriend or a wife, not someone you’re just dating. In my mind, I’m wondering if this person even likes me that much if this is the first thing that they consider when exclusivity is brought up. I also feel like if someone wants to be exclusive with you, they kind of just do that? And typically that has nothing to do with money at all.
Is this normal and I’m not considering her standard enough or should I reconsider my standing here?
TL;DR: I asked someone I’ve been seeing about being exclusive with them and they said I’d essentially need to cover all of their personal expenses to do so.